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Lady Liberty Flips Massive Green Bird at Tyranny, America Cheers

In a move that would make even your most rebellious teenage self proud, Lady Liberty has flipped a massive green bird at tyranny, and America is going absolutely wild....

First Amendment: License to Babble Nonsense Like a Professional Lunatic

Ah, the First Amendment, that glorious piece of parchment that gives us the undeniable right to open our...

Presidential Speech: One Hour of Hot Air, 60 Seconds of Memory

Ah, the presidential speech. That grandiose display of verbal gymnastics where words are tossed around like confetti at...

Kyurem Crushes Pokémon Go: Chill Out or Get Ice Cubed!

Alright, trainers and wannabe Poké-masters, gather 'round because it’s story time. Picture this: it’s a typical Tuesday. You're...

NY Times Headlines Like Choir Boys Playing Air Guitar at a Metal Fest

Ah, the New York Times, the venerable Gray Lady of journalism, a bastion of thoughtful, in-depth reporting that...
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PlayStation Network: Major League Ball-Dropper in Bottom of Ninth.

Well, it's time to talk about the massive screw-up that is the PlayStation Network. You know, the guys who dropped the ball in the...

Gulf of Mexico: Champions Playground with Shark Buddies and Oil Jacuzzis!

Ladies and gentlemen, let me paint a picture for you here. Imagine, if you will, a vast, shimmering playground that stretches as far as...

Asteroid Beware: Kenny Powers Eats Space Rocks for Breakfast!

Let’s get this straight: we're not talking about your everyday, run-of-the-mill professional baseball player or your average astronaut. We're talking about Kenny Powers, the...

Champion Powers Declines Donut, Proves Greatness with Daily Shenanigans

Listen up, people. I’ve got a story to tell. One that’s filled with the sweat, tears, and pure unadulterated badassery of a living legend....

Westminster 2025: Prancing Pooches Prove Path to Stardom is Piss Easy!

Well, well, well, if it isn't another year of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, the annual equivalent of the canine Super Bowl. It's...
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