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The News Hurts
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The News Hurts
Reporting The News Before It Happens
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Robot Boyfriend Proves More Reliable Than Human Counterparts – Android Love
February 13, 2025
Education Department’s Revolutionary Initiative: Teaching Fish to Climb Trees!
February 11, 2025
Invisible Overlords Crown Sam Altman Supreme Ruler of Startup Universe
February 11, 2025
Meta Trades Workers for Robots in Bold Cost-Saving Scheme | HumorNews
February 11, 2025
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Robot Boyfriend Proves More Reliable Than Human Counterparts – Android Love
February 13, 2025
Education Department’s Revolutionary Initiative: Teaching Fish to Climb Trees!
February 11, 2025
Invisible Overlords Crown Sam Altman Supreme Ruler of Startup Universe
February 11, 2025
Meta Trades Workers for Robots in Bold Cost-Saving Scheme | HumorNews
February 11, 2025
Travel
Celebrity
Food
Make-up
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Lady Liberty Flips Massive Green Bird at Tyranny, America Cheers
In a move that would make even your most rebellious teenage self proud, Lady Liberty has flipped a massive green bird at tyranny, and America is going absolutely wild....
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First Amendment: License to Babble Nonsense Like a Professional Lunatic
Ah, the First Amendment, that glorious piece of parchment that gives us the undeniable right to open our...
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Presidential Speech: One Hour of Hot Air, 60 Seconds of Memory
Ah, the presidential speech. That grandiose display of verbal gymnastics where words are tossed around like confetti at...
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Kyurem Crushes Pokémon Go: Chill Out or Get Ice Cubed!
Alright, trainers and wannabe Poké-masters, gather 'round because it’s story time. Picture this: it’s a typical Tuesday. You're...
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NY Times Headlines Like Choir Boys Playing Air Guitar at a Metal Fest
Ah, the New York Times, the venerable Gray Lady of journalism, a bastion of thoughtful, in-depth reporting that...
Strut Your Beliefs Loudly: Fashionistas Now Endorse Squeaky Leather Philosophy
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Kim Jung
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February 19, 2025
In a world where quiet luxury and subtle elegance have reigned supreme for what feels like an eternity, there’s now a fresh breeze blowing...
JFK Library: Where Ghosts, Books, and Conspiracies Throw Rockstar Ragers
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Kim Jung
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February 19, 2025
Walking through the hallowed halls of the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, you might be tempted to think you've strolled into a...
Mother Nature Declares Book Burning Day: School Cancelled, Chaos Reigns
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Kim Jung
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February 19, 2025
In a bizarre turn of cosmic irony, Mother Nature decided to throw a curveball that would make even the most rebellious anarchist nod in...
Ditch Pavement Embrace Anarchy: Jeeps Now Certified Wild Spirit Whisperers
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Kim Jung
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February 18, 2025
In a world where conformity is the norm and the mundane is worshipped, the Jeep stands as a gloriously defiant middle finger to the...
Daredevil Flies Delta, Challenges Lightning to Ultimate Game of Tag!
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Kim Jung
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February 18, 2025
In a world where people are content with taking selfies and posting them on the 'Gram, one man has decided to take the concept...
Anglerfish Dares Ocean with Glowstick Bling, Claims Abyssian Rockstar Status
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Kim Jung
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February 18, 2025
In the shadowy depths of the ocean, where the sun's rays dare not venture and the pressure can crush submarines like soda cans, there...
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Lady Liberty Flips Massive Green Bird at Tyranny, America Cheers
Kim Jung
-
March 14, 2025
First Amendment: License to Babble Nonsense Like a Professional Lunatic
Uncategorized
Presidential Speech: One Hour of Hot Air, 60 Seconds of Memory
Uncategorized
Kyurem Crushes Pokémon Go: Chill Out or Get Ice Cubed!
Uncategorized
NY Times Headlines Like Choir Boys Playing Air Guitar at a Metal Fest
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Universe Throws Epic Rave, Sky DJs Spin Neon Beats All Night
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