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Lady Liberty Flips Massive Green Bird at Tyranny, America Cheers

In a move that would make even your most rebellious teenage self proud, Lady Liberty has flipped a massive green bird at tyranny, and America is going absolutely wild....

First Amendment: License to Babble Nonsense Like a Professional Lunatic

Ah, the First Amendment, that glorious piece of parchment that gives us the undeniable right to open our...

Presidential Speech: One Hour of Hot Air, 60 Seconds of Memory

Ah, the presidential speech. That grandiose display of verbal gymnastics where words are tossed around like confetti at...

Kyurem Crushes Pokémon Go: Chill Out or Get Ice Cubed!

Alright, trainers and wannabe Poké-masters, gather 'round because it’s story time. Picture this: it’s a typical Tuesday. You're...

NY Times Headlines Like Choir Boys Playing Air Guitar at a Metal Fest

Ah, the New York Times, the venerable Gray Lady of journalism, a bastion of thoughtful, in-depth reporting that...
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Captain America: Kicks Butt, Takes Names, Calls It Tuesday Freedom Fiesta

In a world where spandex-clad heroes are a dime a dozen, one shield-tossing, star-spangled Avenger stands out like a firecracker in a fireworks factory....

Gulf of Mexico: Hurricanes Rock and Oil Crashes the Ultimate Rager

Ah, the Gulf of Mexico—a place where Mother Nature throws her wildest tantrums and Big Oil hosts the most outrageous parties. Picture it: hurricanes...

Kentucky: Where Bourbon Breathes Life and Horses Run the Joint

Ah, Kentucky, that strange and wonderful patch of America where the bourbon flows like water, the horses are treated better than royalty, and the...

Cheeky Ditties Overthrow Silence, Boredom Begs for Mercy

In a world that often takes itself too seriously, where silence is revered like some kind of sacred cow, and boredom skulks around every...

Microsofts Quantum Teens Shatter Physics While Mooning Old-School Computers

Hold onto your hats, folks, because the future is here, and it's wearing a pair of ripped jeans with a devil-may-care smirk. Microsoft has...

Roses Are Red, Valentines a Scam, Beer is the Real Romance

Valentine's Day—an annual charade where society collectively decides to shackle itself to the commercialized facade of romance. It's a time when lovebirds flutter about,...
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