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Lady Liberty Flips Massive Green Bird at Tyranny, America Cheers

In a move that would make even your most rebellious teenage self proud, Lady Liberty has flipped a massive green bird at tyranny, and America is going absolutely wild....

First Amendment: License to Babble Nonsense Like a Professional Lunatic

Ah, the First Amendment, that glorious piece of parchment that gives us the undeniable right to open our...

Presidential Speech: One Hour of Hot Air, 60 Seconds of Memory

Ah, the presidential speech. That grandiose display of verbal gymnastics where words are tossed around like confetti at...

Kyurem Crushes Pokémon Go: Chill Out or Get Ice Cubed!

Alright, trainers and wannabe Poké-masters, gather 'round because it’s story time. Picture this: it’s a typical Tuesday. You're...

NY Times Headlines Like Choir Boys Playing Air Guitar at a Metal Fest

Ah, the New York Times, the venerable Gray Lady of journalism, a bastion of thoughtful, in-depth reporting that...
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Joy Reid Flambes Kitchens While Laughing Maniacally and Roasting Critics

So there I was, minding my own business, watching the world spiral into its usual chaos, when the news hit me like a double...

Asteroid 2024 YR4: Earths Ultimate Unwanted Cosmic Party Crasher

Ah, the cosmos. The final frontier, the great unknown, the mysterious expanse stretching beyond the comprehension of our puny human minds. It’s home to...

Valentines Day: Wallets Weep as Love Turns into Capitalist Circus

Ah, Valentine's Day. That special time of year when lovebirds flutter about, and Cupid—armed with his quiver full of overpriced roses and heart-shaped confectionery—takes...

Target Recalls More Than a Boomerang Flinging Safety to the Wind

Target, that oversized bullseye of consumer convenience and impulse buys, has managed to do the unthinkable: out-boomerang the boomerang itself. Yes, dear shoppers and...

Canada vs USA Hockey: Maple Syrup Brawls Apple Pie in Sorry Fest!

Oh, Canada and the USA, our dear neighbors who love to bicker over hockey supremacy like two toddlers fighting over a toy in a...

Sam Sulek Crushes Lifes Chaos Like a Rockstar on a Sugar Rush

Sam Sulek isn't your average rockstar. He doesn't strum a guitar, belt out lyrics about heartbreak, or smash amplifiers on stage. No, Sam smashes...
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