News

Lady Liberty Flips Massive Green Bird at Tyranny, America Cheers

In a move that would make even your most rebellious teenage self proud, Lady Liberty has flipped a massive green bird at tyranny, and America is going absolutely wild....

First Amendment: License to Babble Nonsense Like a Professional Lunatic

Ah, the First Amendment, that glorious piece of parchment that gives us the undeniable right to open our...

Presidential Speech: One Hour of Hot Air, 60 Seconds of Memory

Ah, the presidential speech. That grandiose display of verbal gymnastics where words are tossed around like confetti at...

Kyurem Crushes Pokémon Go: Chill Out or Get Ice Cubed!

Alright, trainers and wannabe Poké-masters, gather 'round because it’s story time. Picture this: it’s a typical Tuesday. You're...

NY Times Headlines Like Choir Boys Playing Air Guitar at a Metal Fest

Ah, the New York Times, the venerable Gray Lady of journalism, a bastion of thoughtful, in-depth reporting that...
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Apple Cider Vinegar for President: A Solution to Health and Economy?

Apple Cider Vinegar Declares Candidacy for PresidentIn one of the most shocking developments in modern politics, Apple Cider Vinegar, the popular home remedy, has...

Royal Family’s Game of Thrones: Rock, Paper, Scissors Determines Next King

Royal Family Speeds Up Succession with a Game of Rock, Paper, Scissors In a shocking and unprecedented move, the royal family has decided...

NFL Admits to Secret Ritual of Worshiping Inflated Pigskin: The Untold Story

The world of American football, already riddled with clandestine tactics and covert plays, just got a new addition to its list of secrets -...

FC Barcelona’s Overcaffeinated Cat Mascot: The Purrfect Deception

FC Barcelona's Mascot: Unmasking the Purr-ocious Secret In a shocking revelation that has left the football world reeling, sources within FC Barcelona have anonymously...

P.J. Tucker’s Radical Idea: Trading Basketballs for His Prized Sneaker Collection

NBA's P.J. Tucker Proposes to Substitute Basketballs with his Luxurious Sneaker CollectionIn an audacious move, the NBA Star P.J. Tucker announced his groundbreaking plan...

De’Andre Hunter’s Name Change Saga: More Than Just a Game

De'Andre Hunter Shockingly Demands New NameFor those who follow the NBA, the name De'Andre Hunter is synonymous with power, precision, and athleticism. But in...
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