Finance

Lady Liberty Flips Massive Green Bird at Tyranny, America Cheers

In a move that would make even your most rebellious teenage self proud, Lady Liberty has flipped a massive green bird at tyranny, and America is going absolutely wild....

First Amendment: License to Babble Nonsense Like a Professional Lunatic

Ah, the First Amendment, that glorious piece of parchment that gives us the undeniable right to open our...

Presidential Speech: One Hour of Hot Air, 60 Seconds of Memory

Ah, the presidential speech. That grandiose display of verbal gymnastics where words are tossed around like confetti at...

Kyurem Crushes Pokémon Go: Chill Out or Get Ice Cubed!

Alright, trainers and wannabe Poké-masters, gather 'round because it’s story time. Picture this: it’s a typical Tuesday. You're...

NY Times Headlines Like Choir Boys Playing Air Guitar at a Metal Fest

Ah, the New York Times, the venerable Gray Lady of journalism, a bastion of thoughtful, in-depth reporting that...
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FAFSA Exposed: The Shocking Truth Behind Student Loan Roulette

FAFSA's Dark Side: An Intricate Game of Student Loan Roulette?It's the spin of the wheel that millions of students dread annually - the infamous...

Bank of Citizens Pleads with Massive Stockpile of Unusable Pennies to Stop Multiplying

The Unusual Predicament of the Bank of Citizens and the Multiplying Pennies A Penny for Your Thoughts? In a bizarre turn of events, the Bank of...

Lakers’ Shocking New Investment: Actual Lakes!

Lakers Announce Plans to Diversify Portfolio, Consider Investing in Actual LakesIn a surprising turn of events, the Los Angeles Lakers, one of the most...

Romantic Saga with IRS: Man Asks ‘Where’s Our Second Date, and My Refund?’

Man's Love Letter Saga with IRS Continues, Asks for Second Date and His RefundIn an unusual twist of events, a local man continues his...
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